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Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Half Marathon: Run this if


You may have noticed I've been a little MIA and sporadic with the posting. (One day, every post will not start with a similar sentence, I swear!) Well, it's been a rough winter, and when I wasn't working (or whining about work or snow or ice), I was mostly training for this half marathon thing I just did, and then too tired to concentrate much on reading or blogging. (Lame, I know.) A year ago I could barely run a 5K - what on earth made me sign up for a half marathon?? I have no idea. Probably just to see if I could really do it. (The answer is: Yes, I can. Woohoo!) Or maybe just to have a goal to work toward. Or maybe because it seemed like a worthier goal for raising money for the wonderful Stray Rescue. (If you are a softie for rescue critters, you can still donate even just a small amount over to the right! It'll be live until the end of April. No pressure at all; it's the place that united us with our ridiculous canines and they are really a fantastic organization.) Or maybe just so that I could officially be "a runner." (I now proclaim myself "officially" a runner.) 

I was not very fast, but I was much faster than my what now seems pitiful 5K last year, and this was more than 4 times as far, and with wonderful IT band issues to boot! I say that as if it's a good thing... it's not. Now for the stretching and foam rolling and exercising to get the leg back into form so I can... keep running. I'm already planning my next half. 

So, should you, dear reader, sign up for a half marathon as well? I don't know. Ask your doctor, as they say. And stuff.

Run a half marathon if:
  • You're looking for some good 'me' time or some social time - it's great to train both alone and with groups. Note: Long runs can be easier with a group. 
  • You need another 'r' to fight having the body of a heavy reader - that is, the idea of an R&R weekend appeals to you in the reading & running sense.
  • You've a playlist already geared to 170-190 bpm to get your cadence just where it should be. 
  • You like listening to audiobooks while exercising. You'll have plenty of time to listen while training.  
  • You just need something to keep you sane. 
  • You want to see what all the fuss is about. 
  • You are not totally and completely repelled by the possibility of removing your shoes to discover that your toes have been bleeding and some toenails may not be sticking around for the summer. (Ladies, apparently you just paint the nail bed, and voila! Sandals anyway.)
Do not run a half marathon if: 
  • Your doctor said no, don't do it. 
  • You think you can just grab any pair of sneakers and go with no plan. You're likely going to injure yourself. 
  • You are afraid of dogs and pedestrians.
  • You are not willing to risk, ahem, runner's trots. 
  • You don't want to get addicted to races. The entrance fees really start to add up after a while... it might eat into your book budget!
  • Your doctor said no, absolutely under no circumstance are you to do any amount of running.

At any rate, go me! Ha. Kidding. But really, I never thought I'd ever run that far, continuously. And no, I am not (currently) thinking about a full. That just seems completely insane. 

Hope all is well, and I'll be back w/ more reads shortly! 

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

For Immediate Release: Books to Remain Closed Until Further Notice


TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES, NEW MEXICO: A terrifying phenomenon is sweeping the nation: books everywhere, when opened, spill their guts - literally. That is, literature-ally - after a book is opened, the words actually float off the pages and scatter into the air, never to be retrieved again. 

The anomalous book behavior seems to have begun sometime in waning hours yesterday evening. "I didn't know what was happening!" said 9-year-old Timothy Sassypants of Big Stone Gap, Virginia. "I opened my history text book, and nearly choked on the words as they sprang into my mouth and everywhere!" 

Sassypants eventually managed to spit out the offending words, but, tragically, they were gonners. Chapters of his history reader were left completely blank. "I don't think Mr. Sideeye is going to believe me when I tell him why I couldn't finish my homework." Until, that is, Mr. Sideeye opens a book for himself. 

Everything from classics to trashy fodder to dictionaries is susceptible to this text loss disease - except, interestingly, user manuals and the Bible. Textualists and librarians have begun experimentation to see how they might replicate this immunity and inject it into susceptible books. 

Librarian Ms. N. O. Sinabuk of Cripple Creek, Colorado, has locked the doors of the town's library in an effort to save the books from the curious and the devious. "They'll not have the chance to witness the text-floaty-craze from our precious books," she said. "Someone's got to protect the books until they can get this thing under control."

Some theorize that this text-annihilation book disease was developed by an underground book-banning organization. Others speculate a higher power is at the heart of this "letter flood." 

Whatever the cause, dear readers, if you care about books, keep them closed for now. "Experts" hope to have this issue resolved in the near future. Some even say it is likely similar to the 24-hour flu, and we can expect book life to return to normal by tomorrow. 
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